@bkam What I think is the most useful lesson here is that if you're too different in communication style from the people around you, it's useful to highlight the difference by being more stereotypical in a non-stigmatized way.

For example, thicken your accent, to remind people you come from a different speech culture, so you can't be judged by the same norms.

@machado Yeah it's an interesting idea, although she suggests it can even happen within a single culture.

It's made me think differently about ritualised elements of conversation.

@bkam I'd say the majority of conversation is ritualized.

I did a few experiments and I managed to pass through a few conversation of just wordlessly mumbling in the right tone of voice.

Often, people only care about the words if you are answering a practical question, or a question with predetermined choices. The rest is performative theatre.

form > content

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