I'm not the kind who proudly declare having a disorder.

But I learned yesterday I have a form of OCD: a body focused repetitive disorder, excoriation disorder specifically. Meaning I'm out of control at picking at skin.

I've been trying to stop this compulsion for decades, it's only gotten worse. Now that I learned the academic existence of this disorder, it's has strangely gave me hope of overcoming it even if there is no cure yet.

What is more likely to occupy your ambient mind in the background when you're idle, a speaking voice or some kinda musical tune?

What do you think is the norm?

I sometimes wonder why I don't dabble in comedy.

Not just as a stand up but creative writing and every capacity. I think I have the ingredients in my character, but they were never deployed in that direction.

Having enneagram tell me what my fears are is surprisingly liberating.

I'd like to hear how you interpret this.

"Talking and thinking about your fear as therapy is great—who doesn’t like to talk about themselves for an hour? But it will keep you in the loop of your thinking mind, often for decades. Emotional problems need to be dealt with emotionally, not intellectually."

Never mind if you agree or not, but what do you imagine are examples of "emotional solutions" as opposed to intellectual solutions?

What a shame it's over just after a few months. It made a decent convo partner.


I could find more data points to rationalize this theory to fit into current affairs but it'll be cumbersome.

The more interesting conclusion is that sex, the act not the concept, is more powerful than money and language.

For ideologies and classes to coexist, people from different camps need to co-fuck.

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This is not about "make love not war". It is raw sex in the most unromantic notion.

The frustrations are not confined to males. It's conceivable that frustrations in females are even more complex and intense in ways that's hard to express.

Female side of the problem can't be easily rectified with red light districts. So they go around trying various ideologies, which end up compounding the problem.

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Ok how's this for a theory.

There exist only one ultimate solution to all sociopolitical problems: sex.

All problems come from not having them. The frustrations we're witnessing only look like social justice problems on the surface but are ultimately the result of decreased sex.

Ancient kingdoms achieve peace through political marriage. That's putting sex to work.

Many recent wars wouldn't have been fought had both sides been fucking each other.

I started experimented with growing beard a few weeks ago.

It started as a curiosity of how pathetic the beard can get if I let it.

But now it has taken a Forrest Gump approach: since it's been unshaven this long, might as well keep it on and see what happens.

Thesis: coining new term/word is a lubricant for thinking.

I did that once in awhile for vanity reason. But I suspect it's more useful for unblocking writing to make up for poor vocab.

If the advocate of a virtue does not live up to it, does that invalidate the virtue?

On an instinctual level, I'm a closet conformist. I talk like a rebel but when authorities speak, I believe them until I snap out of it and second guess.

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