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Dealing with family is so hard because of the lack of clear interpersonal boundaries.
With strangers, the boundary is well-defined: "your right to swing your fist stops at my nose". My behavior impacts you in some way so you'd like me to change it? Fine, let's discuss.
Family members presume to understand, and to demand changes to, not just my behavior, but my underlying beliefs and attitudes as well.
They want the boundary not at my nose, but an inch behind it.